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i'm having the world of a lifetime.
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| and i got tickets to see the dead weather. |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|05:58 pm] |
chapel hill, 2006
oh my god you guys, i finally did it. i finally fucking did it. i gave myself away. i have accepted my life for all it can be. i finally understand how fucking shitty it was to be uncertain and noncommittal. i feel for myself then and for everyone in a similar limbo. because this feels so beautiful. it is scary and intense, but it's finally so clear and it's so electric. soon i will have no distractions. the only reason i have any still is that i live in a studio apartment with another couple and a puppy. so it can't be helped here. but more space is coming. now i just have to find someone to buy an amp for me. i'm never coming out of the basement. OF MY SOUL!!!!!!! jokes will always be a part of me. now more than ever in the most serious state i've ever experienced. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 2nd, 2009|11:32 pm] |
:::can't get enough of:::
+THE DEAD WEATHER
+THIS PHOTO:
+THRASHING
+THRILLER
+BIG HAIR
+MORPHING AESTHETICS
+YOUR LOVE
++++++HILAAAAAAAARITY AND SOSERIOUS++++++
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| looking forward to |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|02:37 am] |
-living in an apartment with separate bedrooms and a basement
-being with kyler
-finally making money
-collaborating with alan
-new project with justin
-music music music music music music
-making new friends
-summer weather and summer clothes and summer feelings
-catching up on the internet after a month of intensity
-being challenged by infants and a puppy and human behavior and not giving in or giving up |
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| that you have the most beautiful face |
[Jun. 16th, 2009|09:53 pm] |
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spending wednesday through sunday in virginia beach and norfolk was nostalgic in only the best of ways, and it was full of lovely people making me feel good about myself, and happy, truly happy, and i am so grateful for that. every friend who made eye contact with me made me feel like the most special person in the world, and in that moment, they were the most special person in the world, too, and that's a really beautiful way of living. lisa and chris getting married was very romantic, and it brought so many of us together for the first time in years, and it was as though no time had passed at all. and when the dj started playing "such great heights", i started to cry so hard, remembering the feeling of forever and feeling the same in that moment. lauren looked at me and said the same words i had just said to zero before she walked over, and she cried too, and we hugged, and then we all danced so hard, and the last song was "do you realize?", and we all formed a circle, and i kept my heels on the entire time, and my feet never hurt. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 6th, 2009|09:28 pm] |
i met two twin newborns today. a sister and brother named nola and pheonix. |
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| little things |
[May. 26th, 2009|09:28 am] |
-i'm about to go in for another day of interning. it's frustrating to work for free and still worry i'm not working hard enough to garner a good reference. thankfully, i did those two weeks of assisting, and i feel like that makes up for the fact that last week and this week i'm only working one day.
-it's exciting, though, to think that once i get through today, i'll be looking ahead to colorado! i'm still working on how to wear my dress, and tomorrow i want to make a gift for jess and chuck. i've really been slacking on gift-giving since i've been so broke. it's time to get back to my roots and the magic of the handmade.
-zero's been especially cute lately. he woke up with me this morning to have coffee and breakfast.
-every night, i fall asleep during whatever show or movie we watch. harkening back to the days of virginia beach horror movies and pizza with marcus and justin.
-this home needs a name.
-the puppy needs a name, too, and he'll be living with us in just a week. i really can't believe it. a puppy! i grew up with dogs, but i've never helped raise a puppy, and certainly not with the knowledge i have now, thanks to the teachings of cesar millan. i'm so excited. |
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| recent times |
[May. 24th, 2009|10:35 am] |
connecting with my mom
seeing this beautiful soul after many years
listening to my old recordings, reconnecting with music
twin peaks and all that magic
brothers
turning old clothes into new clothes
communicating
PEACE |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2009|05:21 pm] |
being a girl me is so effing messy!
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2009|01:56 am] |
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today, i went to the mall on atlantic, and i sat outside with the wind making my eyes tear up while i wrote in my diary barely comprehensible words since i was distracted by the music in my headphones, until i went inside and sat on a bench outside the stores for three hours waiting for zero to get a break from work. he was rocking the sales team at guitar center, and when we finally met up, he was so excited and energized. it made me so happy, i can barely explain. even though i was hating sitting on that bench, especially when an abrasive teen sat beside me saying the word fuck over and over again in a very loud, british accent (j/k, i loved it, but boy did i avoid looking his way), i felt better being there than i would have here, and that meant i needed to be there, and so i was into it. when i got home later in the evening, i did the dishes and swept and put my clothes away, and then i danced to paramore and sang really loudly, and it felt like the best release. then i listened to the cocteau twins and looked up the lyrics to heaven or las vegas and sugar hiccup, and i just sang them over and over again. i love their music, it's so transcendent. paramore was a fun cheese party, but the cocteau twins was kombucha. |
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